If that was your dad, he is hot
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
