Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
