I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
