you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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