last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
