My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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