you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Pooping to opera.
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