Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
