if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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