I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
