Swine flu. Run for my life!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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