She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
