i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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