Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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