you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
