it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
