Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
