last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
