If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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