Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
