she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
