Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
