I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Randomize
