Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
