We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
