I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
stop calling my apartment porn island.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?