someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect