His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
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Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today