they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Randomize
