Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
sarcasm needs its own font
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
