Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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