Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
