Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Boobs are out for the taking
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Randomize
