I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
