I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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