ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
