Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
