just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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