Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize