Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
