I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
