Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
