i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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