i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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