It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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