All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
