All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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