ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
