we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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