The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
