I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
