i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
