I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I think I am morally bankrupt
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
