Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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