what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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