Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
