In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
