So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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