After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
