i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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