how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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