Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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