I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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