i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
