that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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