so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Don't make out with my wife yet
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
