the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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