your parents love me but you hate me
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
