You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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