Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
