i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
